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josie_girl_1988
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Name: Rachel
Country: United States
State: Minnesota
Birthday: 3/30/1988
Gender: Female
Expertise: Are you kidding me? I'm in school- I have no expertise...except maybe procrastination and eating pizza. (but someday I'm going into medicine)
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/11/2006
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| Do you ever have one of those days? Where no matter how much you're build into you feel like nothing? When no matter what you do you feel guilty? Those days that smack you upside the head with the ugly stick and make you feel plain old defeated.
I had one of those days today. I spent the day tired and feeling sorry for myself. Not entirely engaged in life. A day that felt like I wasn't living but merely watching someone live. All for no particular reason. Beaten down, worthless, and alone.
I was reading today about how the Enemy attacks us. How he isolates us, makes us doubt that he exists, makes us feel guilty, exasperates our irritations. Somehow that head knowledge, the knowledge that today was a day on the battlefield for me, doesn't help me when I'm this tired, this worn down. Defeated.
(or at least defeated feeling)
Because that thought, the one that whispers that I'll never be enough doesn't come from my heart and it sure as heck doesn't come from God's heart. So why so often do I accept it as truth? How is it I swallow so many blatant lies?
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What do you tell them?
When you can’t fight the lies anymore
When life stares you down and you’re ready to call it a day
When you feel like there’s no one in your corner
And what do you say?
Broken heart: scarred, crushed
Feelin unloved, feelin alone
There’s no way they understand you
How do you manage?
To hope, to dream
Dance, love
In the face of such opposition
Does it hurt?
What they say about you
How they size you up
And you’re not what they’re looking for
Do you know it’s not true?
Worthless- lie
Hopeless- lie
Unloved- lie
Do you see?
It doesn’t matter
What you’ve done
How you’ve fallen
Do YOU understand?
You are priceless
You are matchless
Renewal is possible
He wants to give you his best
It’s not always what you expect
It’s always what you need
How can you say no?
Yes I know, I haven't been on xanga for, 9+ months... what can I say, I've had nothing worth writing about. But this is different. This needs to get out there. Who do you know who feels condemned? Who do you have a hard time forgiving? What sin really makes you angry? I have a hard time realizing (or remembering, I'm not sure which) that Jesus forgives the sins I condemn. I so often feel like he can't forgive what I can't forget in myself.
Be blessed friends!
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| I got home last night and when I went to go job shopping this morning I realized I'd left my purse in Maple Grove at Famous Dave's... that was an unpleasant surprise. I've filled out about a billion applications, and now comes the waiting game... if anyone knows of anyone who needs an employee this summer with my qualifications and talents let me know!
Later days, Rachel | | |
| I have finals tommorrow, well A final tomorrow, and I'm doing some serious studying... so yeah- it's going to be a loooooooooong night- AWESOME
So if you're still up and reading this, please pray for me...
Until next time folks,
Rachel
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| God is SO FAITHFUL!
He has given me the strength and endurance to finish what I need to for the rest of the week.
He has provided me with friends who are willing to ease burdens.
He has given me a sense of peace and the reality that in 10 years none of this will matter.
Our God truely IS an Awesome God!
Recovering,
Rachel
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